my sweet victory

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about where I've been, where I'm going, what I've accomplished, and on to what i want to do. [I guess due to the whole self-examination ordeal, especially with March coming up] And honestly, it's quite disappointing, realizing that I haven't done much.. at all. To think that during my whole 18 years of life I still haven't figured out what I excel in, what I have a devout passion for. [And what if I never find out.. But]
Right now, all I'm certain of is the people that I care for and the people and things I know that I want to stay in my life; all of which would slowly diminish my existence and make it harder to go about the day if they were to ever leave.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to keep all these things that are dear to me as tightly knit together as possible and how/what I ['m/have to be] willing to sacrifice to make it all happen.
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And if I may, I must tell you, that this, made me smile. It's funny when you rummage through your past and think of the impact it has on the life that you have now. How it meant to you then and the difference it would have made if it made to your present.

breezy, it's not what you might be thinking. promise :]

craving

for a hella chill day.
with one good friend.
just one on one.
lay in the grass somewhere and just think

watch the clouds go by

watch a movie

grab some ice cream
just talk
attempt singing [maybe]

it's been awhile.
yeah, that's what i want.
someone please give me this day

the world sucks when

everything feels right,
but everything you grew up to believe in goes against it.

the world sucks when you're so confused that you don't know what to count as a "sign" anymore.
when this happens, i feel like the world is telling me to, "GROW UP It's time to make your own darn decisions. You have to stop relying on the things around you to decide for you."
Take responsibility.
We should have known what we were getting ourselves into.
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i remember reading, "it's not sacrifice if it doesn't hurt"
and if i give this up, it'll be one big part of me that will start struggling to get back on its own two feet.
and i dont know if the world is ready to make up for the lost ends.