yes, you better believe it.

if only everyone had the guts to say how they truly feel.
oh, how different the world would be.
oh, the endless possibilities.
only if there were no shy hesitancies
and being so afraid of what might happen
and "what if" questions would cease to exist because we would follow through to get the things we want, the things we need.
not necessarily act on impulse, but rely on our instincts. to fully trust in ourselves.
to quit second guessing ourselves,
but in my naive eyes, i feel that i drown myself in my insecurities
making myself so conscious of how every bit of action has a consequence
and how it would affect me,
even more so, how it would those around me. YOU.

so since this is basically impossible to become reality,
or for me at least,
despite all my wishing,
i know i will never be shy or not worry.
hence the purpose of this:
-oh how i wish i could tell you all these things in person.

1. so basically, im quite envious of you. Wait no, VERY envious. I love the happiness you have, and i cant wait to get my share. I love your personality, originality, stupidity, EVERYTHING. It's not that i want to be like you per se, its just that, my, you're blessed, humble. and thank goodness for you. and there's bits and pieces inside me that wish you were talking about me. i know youre not, so basically, im setting myself up for disappointment.
2. Hi, we haven't talked in awhile. and quite honestly, i miss our conversations. Simple and amusing. You keep things at ease. And for some reason, i feel like i dont have to act a certain way. I dont exactly have to impress you, but i can just be chill, and you wouldnt mind. You've gone through enough to know what to expect and to be wise and knowledgeable of the world. You know what to stay away from and what keeps you strong. You put value and are appreciative of what you have. Yeah, I'm jealous of you too. I can only wish that I have half of the qualities of what you have, even if you say you're still working on it. Basically, you're honestly, truly, amazing, and how lucky am I to even converse with you. It's silly of me, but i try to get to you sometimes, just so you can give me the slightest bit of attention. EASE. i admire it. i admire you.
3. I CANNOT believe you. but i guess you got to do what you got to do. and excuse me for questioning and going against your reasoning, but i guess its just i thought you'd always be there for me.
4. New things. New beginnings. A new world. I'm simply thankful, know that.
5. You don't know this, but i cry a little bit every time i see you. Once i get that long awaited hug, my eyes well up knowing how much i've missed you. I think about the way things used to be, how i wish you were still here. I hope you know how much I care for you, how much i love you.
6. No words can describe you. I'm scared. Happy. Content. I want to stay, but I wish i had the courage to leave. I'm sorry i cant give you everything you want, I just wish you could fully understand me.
7. You have surprised me in the most ways possible. If i were to name the one person that has made me laugh the most, it would honestly be you. Thank you for everything.

There's more to be said, but nothing else at the same time.

"expect the unexpected, accept the unintended."

if theres one thing that ive learned from all of you is that you just never know. You never know whats going to be around the corner. Something to build you up or just another downfall. But either way... hm, you figure it out.

something different

you have freed me
unexpected but forever memorable
i always knew it was going to be you